Why I Am Still Single

Why Am I Still Single.

Not all who are still single but desirous of marriage should be blamed especially the ladies. Every single should ask this question: Why am I still single? Especially those who have reached the age of marriage. This question should not be asked in regret but as a tool for positive self-assessment.
Suffice it to say that singleness is blissful.

Let us consider some of the reasons why are still single today

It is on this note that a lot of people have been asking the questions below:

  • 5 reasons why I am still single
  • The real reason why I am still single
  • Reason why I am still single
  • what is wrong with me, why I am still single
  • I am pretty, why I am still single
  • why I am still single at 30 years
  • Type of guys who stay single

It is the time to make preparation for a great marriage adventure. It serves as a period for self-realization, a period when one can freely live for his/herself, you can decide what you want to do, how and what you really want, no one will ask you questions except God. You singlehandedly take decisions and act accordingly.

Once one is married, all those privileges are either taken away or are minimized.
The aim of this lesson is to identify the barriers that are still keeping us from actualizing our desires of having to befit and desired life partners and methods or ways of overcoming them.

Space and time will not be enough to exhaustively discuss all the reasons we may have to give as to why we are still single, but for time sake, I generally categorized the reasons into three categories:

  • Self-made singles
  • Self-caused singles
  • Conditioned singles

1 Self-made Singles:

Not everyone is bound to get married. Though society sees it differently, marriage is not compulsory for everyone. There are some who decide to remain singles for reasons best known to them. Paul in the Bible is one example, let us read 1Cor. 9.5, 19. Paul chose to remain single for the sake of the gospel despite the fact that he had the right to be married, he would not want to be distracted. Paul further admonished in 1Cor. 7.32-35, he says 1 Cor. 7:32-35.

32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. (ESV)

It is therefore not a sin for those who desire to remain singles and not get married for any reason. Some people were made eunuchs and some others made themselves eunuchs, Eunuchs are those who are castrated or unable to sexually reproduce, some were born this way, some were actually castrated and some others just decide to completely abstain from sexual intercourse, the scriptures say that some are so with obvious reasons i.e for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. (Matt. 19.10-12; 1Cor. 7.8-9). Paul says that these ones have the gift of being single, so do not undermine them.


2. Self-caused singles: I am pretty, why am I still single?

So many young singles fall under this category, they are still single but are desirous of marriage. They are still single because of their character. They say that attitude is everything.

How you live your life can affect your social life. Some people are still singles as a result of their indifference. Some have set standards that neither they nor Mary the mother of Jesus can attain. We hear people say things like; “I want to marry a God-fearing, tall, handsome, rich, fair, pink-lipped man from Edo state.

All these for just one person? Unfortunately, these same people are not themselves god-fearing neither are they tall or rich nor having those conditions. How do you expect to see a god-fearing man in a club? How do you want to see a fair man in a black country?

Well as much as it is good to set standards, love breaks the rule, so learn to know when the rule is not working to adjust. There are certain decent standards that must be upheld but some others should not be rigid hard and fast rules.

Some other self-placed standards not visible in the other partner can actually be patiently influenced. My advice is; build what you want not to force it on people. When you impact a person positively, you are investing positively in a relationship that is bound to last. Sometimes it may even be ignorant. I recall an experience shared by the wife of a preacher. There she told us how she got her husband.

She was a corps member posted to the congregation where her husband was preaching as a student preacher. She never liked him, never thought of him as husband material for her, considering her level of education and his at that time, but, she admired the way he preached, she will always want to go out with him on evangelism. He repelled her in the way he dressed, a wrong color combination she said.

She started praying for a husband who is a preacher just because of the way he preaches. Not long after, she unconsciously desired to see him dress to her taste, she’ll go to the market and get him some nice dresses and tell him how to combine colors, sometimes when she doesn’t have the money, she’ll ask him if he wants some clothes so she should help him get some, and that was how she created the man she prayed for! She ruled him out for a husband but when he proposed, she saw an answered prayer, she saw love outweighing her standards and she tearfully said yes.

Work on him and he becomes your ideal man. Work on her and she becomes the love of your life. Don’t force it, influence it. Adjustment is very possible!

Some are still single because they are giving out the dividends that should be enjoyed in marriage! Sometimes a man who loves you will desire your body, it is natural. But allowing him to have it is sinful. When a person desires something and he gets it freely, he feels satisfied but when he desires a thing but needs to do something to get it, he’ll work hard to meet those conditions because he loves what he desires.

Sex is meant to be enjoyed in marriage but, when you allow a man to enjoy sex without being married to you, he will become reluctant and may not even worry about being married. Paul said, if he desires sex, he should get married (1Cor. 7.1-2).

So the reason why Some are still single is that they’re investing in the wrong relationship.

3. Conditioned-singles: The real reason you are still single

Some of us are still single because; We have not reached the age of marriage i.e we have not grown emotionally mature. We are not yet men and women independent to handle marital demands, we are still dependent.


Those in this category should just be patient and wait for the right time. It is not a sin to be single. Enjoy your singleness while it lasts. Some are not yet married because they don’t have the financial ability to get married this is one of the real reasons why you are still single. Stay cool no condition is permanent.

This to me is relative, some are just hiding under this guise in order not to be responsible. While some others truly do not have. Those who are not willing to be responsible, I say, grow up! Take responsibility and be a man. Those who do not have the financial demands should set up plans towards saving to get out of this position.

When it got to this point sometimes you hear a Christian asking His /Herself, what is wrong with me? why am I still single?

You must not have all the money in this world before setting out to be married, reduce your expenditures and save to be financially capable, get something doing to fetch you the necessary resources to achieve this noble task.

To answer the question why am I still single at 30 years especially the ladies, some are ready for marriage, they have prepared themselves but the applications are not forthcoming. These are conditions that are sometimes beyond your control but then, you can re-strategize. Check yourself, consider your character, repackage yourself, your dressing, your social interaction with others and make adjustments.

Do not undermine the power of prayers. Some brothers also fall in this category. The same thing applies to you. Your being holy should not stop you from relating with others. Your being holy should not stop you from dressing nicely.

Look nice and don’t be godlier than God. Learn to talk about other issues, it should not always be “the Bible says this, the Bible says that,” don’t only let the place you take her to be only evangelism and Bible study.

Take her to places of relaxation like millennium park, ShopRite, silver bird, and other decent social places. A sister once told me that she’s not going to marry a preacher because preachers are not romantic. When I asked her she told me of some minor expectations expected by the sisters that preachers barely have. Since then I repackaged and re-strategized and now almost every Sunday I get the compliments that I’ve longed for and also realized it doesn’t cost much.

Why are you still single? Which category do you belong to? Work on yourself and I hope to read your marriage invitation soon. May God help you to find your soothing partners soon.


By admin

Jerome Udoh is an international motivational speaker, an Evangelist, an Entrepreneur, a computer scientist, a programmer, a marriage counselor, an award-winning blogger of many niche, an author of many books. Social media influencer and a media presenter. He is married and blessed with two handsome boys. He is an award-winning information entrepreneur with strong 7-figure online businesses. He has a passion for helping people who are searching for relevant information from the web to solve their day-to-day problems. Remember; knowledge is power. He also likes to write about things in general in his country and all over the world. From money-making ideas, business, the latest news, technology, Relationship, and Self-improvement and many more. His passion for blogging is strictly inspired by things that he loves to talk about. He also holds several certifications in other relevant fields.

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